Your imagery is fantastic, and the words you use flow so well together; the sounds and images mesh perfectly. I love the subtle rhyme scheme you employed; I didn't even notice it until I was halfway through the poem, but it adds so much. You have a wonderful balance between control and lack of control; the way you write the poem totally reflects its content: it is borderline, a verbal and poetic representation of the line you walk between self-destruction and balance. I'm curious about the last line too, the ambiguous ending. Is the "greeting you deserve" a continuation of your self-destructive tendencies (i.e. a harsh, unforgiving greeting) or are you showing yourself mercy? It's a great question you pose at the end. Wonderful job!

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"Oh let me think it is not quite in vain
To sigh out sonnets to the midnight air"

~ Keats, "To Hope"

Well good to know you started writing again. The poem is SOLID. I like it i'm voting for a happy ending. You'll make it.

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My Work: [link]
Street/Unprocessed: [link]
Nature: [link]

An intensity of emotion wrapped up in words.